Out of control

I can't fake a smile anymore
Not even a small positive curve on my face

The angel & demon is fighting in my mind today
I can't bear with it
Every words seems to like a sword to me
No matter a joke or whatever
It is the same for me

I am totally out of control
I always said that it will be a nice day tmrw
But it will never be ):

My tear glands is too hardworking
And totally out of control
I am trying very hard to concentrate on other things
But i failed !

I don't feel like go to school
Cause something will made me cry eventually
I have been shedding my tears since the last 2 period till now
I don't know what is my problem ):

To you who are concerned to me
I really wanted to thank you
Giving me emblazonment , appreciation
And letting me know that I am capable and so on
And a hug from you  is really nice (:

I knew that what you told me was true
You said that is was a waste
You don't understand why
I don't understand why too...
But I don't mind (:

But telling you that i don't mind
and you told me that
I can't said i don't mind
cause I am capable and you felt pity for me

You are telling me the truth
which is the differences in it
and since that the angel n demon is fighting in my head
I can't concentrate on anything
I really broke down
I never knew what I am doing now ):

A phrase " good for you" and a word " thank you"
Have been spinning in my head
is like one demon and angel
trying to kick their opponent out

There is too many things happen at once
I don't want anyone to ask me the same few questions anymore
I am tired of it
Why can't I be the one to have a simple life?

I really need distractions
I need someone to pull me out from this swirl
I can't have a life like this ):

And to you who have eyesight problem
GET A LIFE !

I have to go to calm myself down
And if you felt I am totally out of control
Leave here and don't get in my swirl (: